this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
