So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize