What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
