Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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