I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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