I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
