The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
