I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
