hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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