I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize