I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize