the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
