The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize