new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
