Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
