Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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