Farmville is her only friend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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