Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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