Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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