he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
