Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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