and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize