There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
