I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
