can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
worst night to have a conscience
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
