Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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