barbara walters just said penis...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
