Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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