I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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