So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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