he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
