If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
