Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
