I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
