You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
