come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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