508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
