I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
