I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
