yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
