do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
