i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
