Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
