just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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