he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
