also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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