Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
