he shaved USA in his pubs
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
