I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
