you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
