Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
