I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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