escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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