If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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