Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
