Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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