Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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