That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
