Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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