i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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